The Philosopher in ME :P

What is Bravery? An act that overcomes your inner fears or is something that a man of ordinary prudence(something i picked up from law..finally! :P) would not do... But ..Yes there is a but to everything....An act termed as Bravery has always been a retrospective view, hasnt it? I mean no one can come to a conclusion that it is a brave act unless it reaches a satisfactory conclusion...I mean if. a person fights against odds to achieve something that gives a satisfactory conclusion(in general view) BUT on the flipside if that doesnt lead to anythng remotely successful and has a detrimental result....we (refers to people at large) might think 'wasnt that mighty stupid of him to try that !'

It makes me wonder ...the logical thing to do would be to do as it pleases you ...'Be not afraid of what the world might think of you, Be afraid of what you might think of yourself' (boy i can better ABE or what ! :P ) ...In the end you have nothing to prove to the world...No one was BORN to do something that he ought to...he or she is JUST there.....All you have are choices....so just CHOOSE which frankly speaking in itself are a task.... No one(again...people at large) cares when you are staring down the barrel(literally or figuratively i.e.) so why bother how the results pan out....success or failure shouldnt be that big a deal ...but thn y is it.... IF ONLY we were a little more rudimentary n a little less complicated !

The Inexplicable

There are certain events that are inexplicable to an avg. person....I dnt mean it scientifically ...more like something defies logic....reasoning....on the face of it... something that seems silly/outrageous/unacceptable to the majority but there is always some reason ....unknown/unexplored that leads to that inexplicable event ....In the end no one bothers to find out what that is and yet form their own opinion sadly....give their verdict which might not have a direct bearing on that person per se but leaves things unexplained... IF ONLY someone bothered to make an effort to go to the bottom of it !

My Vicious Circle

I know I know regardless of what everyone thinks....everyone tends to do the same things everyday i.e. be repetitive about what they do.. not necessarily do similar things...(its a bit confusing...hope u get the drift).... But apart from the routine you tend to live life in a line more like a curve.........its up n down .....n a bit more down ;)......but mine always seems to be in a circle.......you always have a choice in all matters (not making a choice is a choice too :P) and ofcourse you have to bear the subsequent consequences....and every now and then you dont make the right ones or atleast the consequences are unsatisfactory to say the least but then when you get the chance ( no its not a hypothetical situation but what if you actually do)..... you ....HELL... I dont know about you but I most certainly tend to make the same choices again and again and again ( and it goes on......)............

I seem to be living life in a circle ....Things just come back to me the way they were...and invariably I am left with the same choices again and again I tend to make the same ones ...whether wrong or right.... MY natural ability to get myself back on track or rather in a circle is thus retained.......for better or worse..........RIGHT NOW??? The lesser I speak about it, the better it is........Oh there you go, I have spoken a lot already!!!!

Its not funny anymore........

I wonder where and when did I lose my humour . I just cant appreciate anything remotely cheerful around me. I can make a 100 people laugh at the drop of a hat but I cant make myself cheerful...Everything around me seems to be falling apart. its an irony that just when I ought get more serious about things in general like LIFE, I could not have felt less cheerful than I am at these times........I have kept myself in the closet for too long(a mental block of some kind).........long enough to devoid me of all the humour in this world.......Its not funny anymore.......I cant imagine life without a sense of humour....In testing times people need to lighten up but what do I do if my testing times begin when I lose my sense of humour!!!!!!

IT CAN NEVER BE YOUR BEST

The best you feel cant be put into words.....the best you do cant be appreciated by anyone else......

The best I feel can be put in drafts ........the best I do is never good enough for me.......

ITS ALL NEW TO ME !!!!

After an outburst there seems to have been a lull thats lasted longer than it should have.... I started writing this post with something very specific in mind and yet I might end up with writing something very general, something very vague and make it sound like it actually has something to do with the title as well as the purpose of this post.Lets see how this ends then .....

Most of my posts here are more to myself than to anyone else.You would probably say thats what everyone does. Write more for and to themselves than the ones who read it. But I always take it a step too far by making sure its full of riddles and you would have to literally interrogate me to get to the root of the matter(and still would not get the full details). Its not a very unusual thing though, is it? I mean a lot of bloggers do it but I just dont leave the practice here in the virtual world and take it back with me. Maybe I lived in denial(no thats not it!!!) or maybe I just was plain indifferent towards it(hmm...sometimes maybe....) but I just realized (well...not just now!...over the last few days I guess) that I wasnt probably aware of it for the most part.

I know I know this still isnt getting anywhere substantially close to being specific and is still a bit confusing but its a start nevertheless. I am a self proclaimed emotional retard(inappropriate word maybe) i.e. someone who doesnt get emotional when he should and does so when he shouldnt ( a lack of co-ordination between the mind and heart i guess). I am just too much of a guy in that respect i guess(not talking things out). When I started the post I thought of being more forthright but here I am thinking to myself that it is sounding lame already( I am kinda insensitive towards myself ). For once I wish I could cut out on all the humor just for a few minutes(the harder I try the more difficult it already is).

The fact that I am changing in this regard makes me feel more human . Though I still have doubts over this but its a welcome change, a fresh start maybe is needed. I know its full of ambiguity but cant help it as its all new to me.

DONE N DUSTED

I AM DONE
I m done with the nice guy attitude....it sucks.....dsnt get u anywhr remotely close to whr u want to be.....done with the being taken for granted attitude....its supposed to be a sign of better n probably closer frndship.....but its all a myth...all it does is make u more vulnerable....done with the ideals......all it does is prove tht u were wrong abt it all the time with every passing second.....done with the INDIFFERENT attitude....it doesnt change the hardhitting facts by any stretch of imagination.....all it does is make u realise u r too human to be tht indifferent......I am done being myself..................